Wesley smiled weakly, pushing a bowl of dried fruits over to the siv. "I fell into it, more or less."

"Ah. The whole 'appearing in the middle of a religious library thing?" Xander guessed. "That, I have to admit, is a very Watcherly thing to do." He picked at the fruits, wishing they were fresh. "But you seem to have settled in ok."

"I did, after a fashion," The dalhari agreed, watching Xander not enjoy his breakfast. He reached over for a rare fresh yimkia and handed it over. Xander grimaced but took it, biting in with slightly more relish than he'd applied to the dried berries. "Although there were some... difficulties along the way." The details of those instances weren't something he wanted to get into with Xander over a casual meal, however.

Xander shrugged. "Can't be any worse than attacking your mates and running away," He murmured. "Or scaring your kids and acting like a jerk."

"Ah, not exactly," Wesley said. "Truth be told, I have been quite willing to hide in this hold ever since arriving."

"I can see why," Xander replied. "It's quiet, safe, and has an endless supply of books. And I'm sure you had the occasional trip to Xo'pa, right?"

"That barely counts," Wesley remarked. "But I haven't felt any real pull to leave, no. The scholarly life is rather consuming; it is easy enough to remain immersed in it for decades."

Xander's laugh was low and happy. "Yeah, the whole not-getting-older thing certainly helps. Once it really sank in, I slowed down a lot. Finally figured out that I had time, real *time* to do stuff."

Wesley turned to study Xander more closely. "How long did it take you to get used to being..."

"A monkey?" Xander asked bluntly. "Oh, longer than I was willing to admit, at first anyway. It was more that I didn't get to choose, you know?" The siv shuddered slightly. "And I still can't stand t'kth-vaali," He muttered.

"I've not met anyone who could," Wesley commented. "You interacted with them?"

"How do you think I got this way?" Xander inquired.

Wesley frowned. "I don't..." A thought occurred to him. "Nae~froyen?" He said, horror evident in his voice.

"Right in one," Xander said. "Saelen and Pairdra were the unwilling donors. There's more, but..."

"I attacked an elder," Wesley blurted out.

Xander blinked. "Well, I must admit I never actually *attacked* my elders, even when they were being annoying."

Wesley chuckled. "No, I went mad and hallucinated that she was someone else." There was more to it than that, but he saw no reason to get into the bloody details while they were trying to eat. He took a bite of his paz grain and chewed thoughtfully.

"And you managed to get her to bite you with enough force to initiate a change?" Xander replied. "Wesley, I'm impressed. Didn't know you had it in you."

"You always did underestimate me," The dalhari said dryly. Everyone had, right from birth.

"No more," Xander swore. "Anyone who can get Baura to behave, even for five minutes, is definitely someone to be reckoned with."

Wesley grinned. "Very true. He certainly has a lot of energy, and enough curiosity for ten students."

"It runs in the family," Xander said. "In their own ways, everyone from Waei to Rali is a firecracker."

The mention of Rali made Wesley frown slightly. "Spike, with a child..."

"Did you ever actually meet Spike?" Xander asked curiously. "He's not the same person. Or maybe he is, but I never really knew him before." The siv shrugged. "Regardless, he's...a good friend now. And quite the family man, too. You should've seen him with Rali, when she was little. I don't think they were apart for more than a few hours for almost thirty years."

"Really?" Wesley murmured, interested in finding out about how one of the most destructive vampires in their home world's history was transformed into a weaver and father.

•••

"How is Xander?" Rraiec inquired as Wesley closed the door behind him. "Did he enjoy his tour of the walls?'

"Yes, if only because we went by the forests and he could climb up in the trees," Wesley replied. He and the siv had spent yet another day talking. He'd never realized how much he and Xander had in common, nor how bright the young man who fought next to the Slayer had been. "How is Baura?" He asked as he settled in next to Rraiec by the fire

"Completely distracted by his company," Rraiec replied. "Which is to be expected. Rali and Iriya are interesting additions to our lessons, though. Between the mathematics and the music theory, Baura is nearly in rapture."

"Ah, yes," Wesley sighed. He'd been slower to get reacquainted to Dawn, although that was more because of time constraints. They had talked, though, and he'd been much relieved to find out that she held no animosity towards him for leaving her sister and friends in Sunnydale. "Is he still studying at all?"

"Some," Rraiec said. "Although not very much, of course. Did Pairdra and Saelen accompany you today?"

"Yes," Wesley confirmed. "As did Mai'zi and Hainien. Had nightfall not come, they would still be out there."

"They are not fond of travel," Rraiec stated. "At least, that is what I have heard."

"You and everyone else," Wesley muttered. "I don't think they like ifnan." He probably wouldn't either, if he were siv. "

"Is this bothering you?" Rraiec asked bluntly. Wesley knew he was asking about all the visitors, the pressure on them to interact with strangers, and the abrupt changes to their well-regimented lives. The green dalhari snuggled closer to Rraiec, sighing softly.

"You know that I would rather things be... quiet here," Wesley began. "I cherish calm. However, that said, I am pleased to have met Xander, his family, Rali and Dawn. They are..."

"Family," Rraiec finished. Wesley's head came up, his face a picture of confusion. "It is true, Keisri," Rraiec murmured. "Xander and Dawn-Iriya are the closest thing to family you have here, other than Rinhe. They have the same past that you do, or at least some of it."

"I know," Wesley whispered. He had been surprised at how nice it had been to just talk about their old world--about television and cars and plastic. They'd all had a good laugh over how little they missed such things now. "I had thought it would be more difficult."

"You expected them to hate you," Rraiec corrected. "And they don't, so you are confused." He exhaled slowly. "Perhaps one day you will begin to believe that you are not a monster."

"I believe that now," Wesley corrected. "I simply am... cautious in my expectations."

"I see," Rraiec said, smirking. "I shall keep that in mind."

"What does that mean?" Wesley asked primly, catching the mischievous note in Rraiec's voice.

"Nothing," Rraiec replied.

"Really?" Wesley inquired. "You keep nothing in your mind?"

"Very funny."

•••

"Excuse me?"

Rraiec smirked. He knew that Keisri wasn't as averse to the idea as he acted; if he was, he'd have simply said 'no' and left it at that. "You heard me the first time, Keisri. I think we should travel with Baura to Na'alha, now that he has decided to return there for a time." He was waiting for a tantrum, or at least some whining, before his lover capitulated.

"Why?" Wesley asked in a pleading voice. "Is there some reason why Ke'reo Der is no longer suitable for us?"

"No," Rraiec murmured. "However, I thought that it would be a good idea to continue Baura's education. Also, you haven't left Ke'reo Der and the area around it since you arrived here. Perhaps you would enjoy seeing other parts of the region, as well as other areas, such as La'iv." Of course, it remained unsaid that Rraiec would like to travel a bit as well.

"There is that," Wesley conceded. "However..."

"Of course, you would have to spend time with Xander, Dawn, and Spike," Rraiec mentioned. "Actually thinking about your past."

Wesley's frown was sharp. "You think that I would not want to do that? Have I not been doing that with Xander and Dawn?"

"I simply meant that this is an opportunity to do more of that," Rraiec commented.

"I know what you're trying to do," Wesley muttered. "I won't be manipulated, Rraiec. If you want to travel with Baura and listen to ever more tales of my misspent youth, just say so." He didn't mind the idea of the trip, but he wanted to hear the truth outright.

Rraiec grinned. "Actually, I wanted to hear stories about your old friends' lives," He admitted. "You've told me all you wish to tell, Keisri. But these others, they seem to be most interesting. Fighting, trying to survive, it is all fascinating, if a bit gory."

Wesley was somewhat mollified by that response. At least Rraiec wasn't saying that he thought Wesley was hiding something from him. "But you think it would be good for us to do this?" It would be very bad for the two of them to end up in Na'alha and realize that they were not well-suited, or for the trip to break them apart.

"I do," Rraiec confirmed. "And it is past time we took a leave from this place." Rraiec had been postponing his own trek away from Ke'reo Der to accommodate Wesley, but he knew it was due. People in such isolated, highly spiritual places risked losing contact with the rest of their world if they never left their homes.

•••

"I can't believe I let him talk me into this," Wesley muttered as he paced in front of the fire. Rinhe watched him, amusement sparkling in her eyes.

"Do you truly not want to go?" She asked her adopted son. "I am sure he would be willing to stay."

"No," Wesley said, waving her off. "We shall travel, all the way to Na'alha. He is correct that it would be best for Baura; the boy is not yet ready to leave his studies. And besides, I haven't been away from Ke'reo Der for a very long time."

"Indeed. It is for Baura's sake that I encouraged him to travel. He would benefit from visiting his family. And you, too, could find some usefulness in this trip. There is a nice library at the university in Na'alha," Rinhe commented.

"You've thought extensively about this, haven't you?" Wesley accused her, frowning severely.

Rinhe shrugged, her face bland. "You are both a resident of this hold and a member of my family. I am beholden to look after your best interests, Keisri. And can you not tell me that you would not enjoy a milder winter? Though it is farther north than Ke'reo Der, Na'alha suffers fewer winter winds than we do."

"Are you not afraid that I will find the place so welcoming that I choose not to return?" He asked snappishly. "After all, it is such a lovely destination that Xander and his family are returning--and it is rather definitely not the typical destination for siv."

Rinhe frowned at her skeptical child. "If you find it that much more comfortable than Ke'reo Der, than I shall encourage you to stay." She smiled. "Although I doubt that you will."

Wesley sighed. "I know, and I apologize for being so frustrating. I just feel that..." He threw his hands up in the air, wings rustling with his frustration.

"You are being pushed?" Rinhe guessed. "You are, you know. Being pushed, that is. You are more than willing to challenge your mind, Keisri. Why not the rest of your being?"

"You really are too good at this," Wesley complained, even as he sank down onto a cushion in defeat.