Giles grinned ruefully. “It usually is,” He agreed. “But try.”

The three men moved over to the table and leaned against it. “The books aren’t entirely accurate.”

“They’re mostly wrong,” Spike interjected.

Xander shook his head. “The Altenalium is a weapon, of sorts. I mean, it is the best way to get rid of the Vraiyl.”

“But it isn’t exactly a sword,” Giles guessed. “That is what you meant yesterday.”

Xander nodded. “Yeah. The Altenalium is kind of a state of being. An entity. We’re not possessed or anything. It’s more like we’ve become it. We took it into ourselves, and it took us into itself.”

“So that’s why you keep saying you can’t hand it over?” Gunn inquired. “Because you can’t separate it from yourselves?”

“Pretty much,” Xander confirmed. “With a bit of practice, we’ll be able to get rid of the Vraiyl. But since we’re the Altenalium, it’ll have to be us.” He saw the scowl on Buffy and Angel’s faces. “And we can handle the practicing part ourselves. It did come with something like an owner’s manual.”

“We just haven’t had time to read though the whole thing,” Spike murmured.

“But we’ll get on it first thing,” Wesley promised.

“You have to leave us alone, though,” Xander insisted, looking right at Buffy and Angel. “We work together, always. It’s a package deal, Buffy. I’m sorry you don’t like this, and I can understand why you’re so upset. I mean, you’re depending on me, Spike and Wesley. Real confidence boosters.”

“You’re more than capable of this,” Giles murmured. “Is there anything we can do to help?”

Xander grinned. He’d been waiting for Giles to come back. “I’m sure there is, G-man. We’re not superheroes, you know. I still can’t run and stake at the same time.”

Willow and Giles laughed. Buffy and Angel just glared at them.

“What about the Vraiyl?” Cordelia asked. She’d been silent and had stayed out of most of the fighting. Once Angel decided to ignore her in favor of being angry at Wes, she’d backed off and sulked in a corner. She hated being ignored.

“We’ll take care of them,” Xander promised. “Just like your vision showed. But we have to do it our way. Hells, Cordy, you might as well go back to LA.”

Gunn and Fred seemed to like that idea. “The town’s not gonna stop because we’re not there,” Gunn reminded the seer.

Angel growled. He did not like the direction this conversation was taking. Everyone but Buffy was siding with Xander, Spike and Wesley! Even Cordelia. Of course, she’d always thought the three men were going to be doing all the fighting.

“Shut up, Angel,” Cordelia muttered. “I think going back to LA is a fine idea. So far the only Vraiyl we’ve seen have been here. If Xander’s good on his word, they’ll come to LA to fight there too.” She stared meaningfully at Xander, who nodded.

“So you’re just going to let them go?” Buffy screeched. “Just like that?”

Giles closed his eyes and prayed for strength. “Buffy, if I recall correctly, you agreed to send them over. They did exactly what you asked them to; they retrieved the Altenalium. Now it is here and willing to fight the Vraiyl. Which, I might add, have been spotted only once. You have seen a single demon fitting their description.”

“If we leave now, we can be back in Los Angeles before sunrise,” Gunn reminded his group. “Angel, we ought to go. There’s nothing we can do here.”

“Nothing we can do?” Angel echoed.

“The Slayer’s got the town under control, and the boys are gonna get right on the demon situation, right?” Gunn asked. “So we should go home and do our thing there. We’re just standing around here, not doing any good.”

“We’ll keep you updated,” Xander promised. “Phone, e-mail, you name it.”

Buffy and Angel were about to protest when Giles interrupted. “I think this is a workable solution. Angel, I will make sure you have all the information we have, and I am certain that they will come to Los Angeles as soon as you find out that the Vraiyl are there causing trouble.”

“Of course,” Spike murmured. After all, that was why they were in their current situation.

“So can we please go?” Gunn asked.

“Yes, we can, even if we have to tie Angel up and lock him in the trunk,” Cordelia swore. She reached over and grabbed Angel for the second time that night. One hard look from the seer had him following meekly behind. He knew that look. The dark vampire was in for one hell of a lecture. Maybe even with yelling. Gunn and Fred followed, with Connor bringing up the rear.

The room relaxed significantly when the LA gang had left. “I don’t like-“

“We have established that you are not in favor of this course of action,” Giles said as Buffy began another rant. “However it is the best one. It certainly makes up for the foolishness of two days ago.”

Xander nodded. At least *now* someone was giving the three men credit. He was still wondering what had gotten into everyone. Angel’s friends Gunn and Fred were almost different people today, as were Willow and Giles. How they’d all acted before worried him a lot.

“Well, we’d better be off if we’re going to get ready to fight the Vraiyl,” Spike said to Wesley and Xander. Buffy hissed at the former vampire as he walked by. Giles nodded, as did Willow.

“Call us!” Willow said as they left.

“Will do,” Xander replied.

•••

“I’m not sure that just mint chocolate chip, even with hot fudge sauce, is gonna do it this time,” Xander commented as they walked home. “And why didn’t we drive?”

“Felt like walking, remember?” Spike reminded him. “At least, you did.”

“Yeah, that’s right,” Xander replied. “Still sorting out all this brain stuff. It’s confusing.”

“I agree. We are quite lucky all of us like chocolate, even if Xander’s cravings are a bit excessive,” Wesley added.

“So how long can we avoid brooding about all of that back there?” Xander inquired. “I’m hoping it’s, oh, forever until we do that?”

“Fine by me, but I don’t think it’ll work, trying to put it off,” Spike murmured.

::We all enjoy brooding too much,:: Wesley said.

::Bad habits die hard,:: Xander thought.

::Indeed they do,:: Spike agreed.

When they got home the men made short work of shaking off the obvious signs of tension they’d developed. Off came shoes and coats; stakes went flying into one corner. Wesley even managed to laugh a bit at his terrible aim, his stake bouncing off the garbage can Xander kept his stakes in. The younger man went into the kitchen to fetch beer and chocolate, as well as to order a pizza. Food was the best comfort in the world, right up there with sex.

::Sex is better,:: Spike thought while he watched Xander dish out ice cream. ::And shouldn’t we be waiting for that until after the pizza?::

Xander looked down at the bowls and shrugged. ::Can if you want.:: He set the bowls in the freezer and got Wesley a glass of water. ::Sex is better, but not by much. Chocolate is very much of the good.::

“I thought the chocolate thing was more for women,” Wesley commented. Xander narrowed his eyes.

“Are you calling me a girl?” He accused.

Wesley’s grin was evil. “No. I know better.”

Spike laughed. “Definitely not a girl!”

Xander knocked his head back against the fridge. “What is it with me? I always fall right into that stuff.”

::It’s a talent,:: Spike thought. ::A very funny one at that.::

::Glad you’re so amused,:: Xander muttered silently. ::I’m a fucking clown.::

Wesley didn’t even try to make a joke out of that. ::Xander, we’re not making fun of you. It’s a defense reaction.::

::Just like when you act out around Buffy,:: Spike added. ::To hide your fear-and make them all feel better.::

“You ever notice how much we slip into the mind thingy when the conversation’s uncomfortable?” Xander inquired.

“We don’t do it all the time, but we definitely seem to prefer it,” Wesley agreed.

::Can you blame us? This is difficult to begin with,:: Spike said. ::And now we know everything about each other. I know what Xander’s going to think almost before he thinks it.::

::It’s damned distracting is what it is,:: Xander stated. ::I know what it’s like to have sex with Buffy, Angelus, Dru, Harmony, some girl named Virginia…::

::Anya,:: Wesley returned quickly. ::And Faith, although you don’t seem to remember very much of that.::

::Strangulation’s not the best memory enhancer,:: Spike commented. ::Although, Wes, if Giles knew you fucked Ethan Rayne, he’d kill you.::

“Damned straight,” Xander muttered.

“Not exactly,” Wesley and Spike said together, grinning. They didn’t mind pushing Xander a bit on that particular issue. Since they had free access to his memories they knew he wasn’t entirely straight. Any hesitations they might have felt over prowling through each others’ memories was overcome by the fact that they really couldn’t help it-whenever they tried to access their own memories for a particular thing, their minds seemed to pull up similar stuff from the others.

::Do we have to talk about this?:: Xander moaned.

::Not now, but someday,:: Spike replied. ::It’s going to become a problem, otherwise.::

Wesley nodded, understanding the blonde very well. ::We’re in an unusual situation,:: He said softly.

Xander looked up. ::What? Three not-entirely-straight guys, hooked together until the end of time? Yeah, I’d say unusual. What you really mean to say is that it’s only a matter of time before we start wanting to screw.::

“That too,” Spike murmured. ::And while Anya would probably love to-::

::NO!:: Xander screamed mentally. ::We’re not together now, and won’t ever be.::

“What if she wants to reconcile, when she returns from her vacation with that vengeance demon friend of hers?” Wesley asked.

Xander closed his eyes. They knew as well as he did that he’d been wishing for a reconciliation for months now. “It can’t happen. I’m not going to be with Anya, knowing that you two would pretty much be with her too. It’s wrong, on all sides.”

The other two men agreed that it wasn’t right, but what else was there? ::So you’ll stay celibate, just so that we never feel you having sex?:: Spike asked.

::What would you do, if Buffy walked in here right now and wanted to go at it?:: Xander asked bitterly.

::You already know the answer to that,:: Spike replied in a tiny mind voice. ::Didn’t have to bring it up, either. You knew before.::

“Biting at each other isn’t going to solve anything,” Wesley said firmly.

Xander glared and turned his back on the others. He needed privacy, needed it so very badly. He’d never really understood how much he liked his alone time until now. There was so much in his head that he didn’t want others to know about. So much secret stuff.

::You think that perhaps we don’t have things we’d rather not share?:: Wesley asked Xander. ::What you’ve seen of my life that you dislike is only the beginning.::

::There’s a century of vampire in there too,:: Spike added. ::I’m not proud of it, but it’s there.::

::Yeah, but…:: The doorbell rang, cutting off Xander’s whine.

Wesley went to the door, shadowed by the others, and paid for the pizzas. The men put their uncomfortable conversation on hold while they slurped hot cheese pizzas and drank cold beer. ::Thanks for the ice cream warning,:: Xander thought while he chewed. ::And there’s actually and advantage to this! I can talk and eat at the same time!::

::Without making an awful scene, yes,:: Wesley agreed.

Spike moaned as warm, gooey cheese stuck to the roof of his mouth. Yeah, he’d eaten human food as a vampire, but this was different. Food felt and tasted different when it was actually nourishing the body. While in their new forms the guys didn’t have to eat to survive, it was a lot easier that way-they didn’t have to work to channel energy into keeping their bodies healthy.

::Enjoying?:: Xander asked the vampire.

::’S good,:: He replied. The night before he’d been too tired to enjoy the food. Starting with this morning, though, he’d made up for that, and for years of a blood-based diet. They’d both laughed at him for nearly crying over an omelet.

Wesley just smiled around his beer. He let himself simply experience what the former vampire was, liking the ease with which he was understanding the other man’s emotions. He let his mind wander a bit, sort of sifting freely through some of the new things in his head. Soon enough he found himself looking through the memories that came with being the Altenalium.

::That’s odd,:: Wesley thought, mostly to himself.

“What?” Xander mumbled around his pizza. ::Sorry, forgot about the mind thing for a sec.::

::I am not offended,:: Wesley said lightly. ::We should be able to feel the Vraiyl,:: He continued. The ex-Watcher showed the others what he’d found. The Altenalium should allow them to sense the presence of the Vraiyl, in a way that Wesley thought was similar to how a Slayer felt vampires. What the three men had sensed earlier when the vampires had neared them wasn’t what they would feel when confronted by the Vraiyl. Yet they hadn’t really sensed the demons at all.

::Maybe they’re not close enough,:: Xander thought. ::But it shouldn’t matter.:: If the Vraiyl were anywhere nearby-even miles away-they’d be able to tell.

::I suppose we need practice,:: Wesley murmured.

::Indeed,:: Spike agreed. ::Ice cream now? With hot fudge sauce?::

“I’ll make an addict of you yet,” Xander vowed. The aroma of hot fudge sauce filled the apartment as he topped three heaping bowls of ice cream with the creamy substance. ::And no, you can’t have any JD with your ice cream,:: He told the vampire. ::To the best of our collected memories, you always overindulge.::

::Did not,:: Spike groused.

::No, you were merely performing exacting scientific tests to determine if distilled beverages could replace blood as the sole source of sustenance for a vampire,:: Wesley said dryly. ::I’ve done the same,:: He added. ::And while it certainly seems like the thing to do right now, I doubt that the three of us want to share the world’s worst hangover.::

“Worst?” Xander asked as he brought in the ice cream.

“How much beer have you had?” Wesley asked the boy.

“One, same as you,” Xander replied.

“How many do you feel like you’ve had?” Wesley pressed.

Xander frowned. “More than one.”

::Bloody hell!:: Spike swore. Now that Wesley mentioned it, he was far more buzzed than one beer should’ve accounted for. ::What else to we have to share?::

“You really don’t want to speculate on that,” Wesley said, dipping into his ice cream. “We’ve already established that we share pain, fear, anger…”

Xander saw exactly where this could lead. “Okay… ice cream. Mint and chocolate and fudge. Maybe a ball game on television.”

::You’re dodging,:: Spike accused. ::It doesn’t work, remember?::

“Can we not think about it tonight?” Xander begged. ::Can we pretend, for a few minutes, that we’re not living inside each other?::

Spike almost choked on his hot fudge sauce. The boy really had a way with words. ::Ah, Xander, we can try, but…::

::We can’t block each other,:: Wesley warned. ::The Altenalium can’t be split like that. Even when we’re physically separated, our minds are one.::

“What do we do, then? Except go crazy, that is,” Xander asked angrily.

“There is historical precedence,” Wesley murmured. “We are not the first to be the Altenalium.”

Xander saw the memories Wesley was referring to and flinched. “Not going there.”

::Too late,:: Spike murmured.

“Huh? I haven’t gone there,” Xander insisted. “I haven’t!” And he hadn’t-he’d actually managed to not think about anything. Xander frowned and blinked. ::We’re not talking about that either!:: He shouted. “No!”

Wesley sighed. ::We don’t have to talk about it, Xander. We’ve already got all the memories. All the thoughts.::

Xander groaned. He so didn’t want to think about it. Nope. He wasn’t gonna remember that he used to watch Spike, when the vampire wasn’t looking.

::Why does it bother you so much?:: Spike asked curiously. Then he knew. ::Oz? You wanted Oz?:: The werewolf didn’t seem like what Xander would normally go after.

::Straight as an arrow,:: Xander said miserably. ::All over painful, ok?::

Wesley and Spike remained silent, both verbally and mentally. They both knew the pain of rejection, just as acutely as the boy. However, this was different from both of their experiences. Oz hadn’t been cruel; far from it. The werewolf seemed to have let him down gently. But that didn’t matter; Xander was still left crushed, confused and hurt. In the end Xander had retreated back to what he was most familiar with-chasing pretty girls.

“So, anyway, we’d better get some rest. I’m thinking that all that practicing Wes wants us to do, we’re gonna need it,” Xander said.

::Trade off this time?:: Spike asked Wesley.

“Quite alright,” Wesley assured him. “I don’t mind.”

They stood and waited for Xander to join them. Fortunately they were tired from their emotionally and physically exhausting evening. Sleep would come. This time.